Interfaith Weddings

Nashville Wedding

2009-06-26T12:57:00.001-07:00

Heading to Nashville today to officiate at a wedding! I've been told it's kinda humid there :(

Wedding in Cancun

2009-06-26T12:55:00.000-07:00

I'm just back from officiating a weddings in Cancun. The bride was beautiful. The weather was beautiful. The resort was beautiful. But the tourists...well, they were kinda hard to find! Swinefluitis I suspect, plus the terrible economy. But, ah Cancun...

Shabbat Shalom!

A Sad Prayer

2009-03-06T11:32:00.000-08:00

When you have been to the Western Wall in Jerusalem, the first thing you notice is that there are always many, many Orthodox Jews deep in prayer. Most of them live in Jerusalem and are not at all open to the liberal flavours of Judaism. And so, it is not unexpected that when a group of women rabbis attempt to wear the traditional prayer shawls and kippot of men and sing and pray at the wall, they are provoking what can be a very nasty scene.

But still, I know that G-d is quite happy whenever anyone prays, no matter where they are. And the following sad event just should not have happened:

"On March 4th, 2009, a group of women Rabbis were asked to leave Jerusalem’s Western Wall because their prayers were deemed offensive to local custom.

Around 70 women visiting Israel for the Central Conference of American Rabbis were expelled from the Jewish Holy site because they were wearing prayer shawls and skull caps - traditionally only worn by men according to Orthodox Jewish custom.

The women later chanted songs and read from the Torah.

In the Orthodox tradition, only men are allowed to sing in public and read from the Torah.

“Someone from the men’s section started shouting that ‘a woman’s voice is lewd’ and that our singing was offensive,” said a female Israeli activist for Reform Judaism who attended the prayers.

“I was ashamed in front of the guests from America,” she added.

Two Orthodox women then began shouting at the female Rabbis.

“The women shouting at us were much more bothersome than our prayer,” said Rabbi Jackie Ellenson. “We sang beautifully together.”

Police were called to the site, and the group was expelled from the wall because they had “failed to follow the place’s customs.”

The Western Wall is the last standing remnant of the ancient biblical temple in Jerusalem."

March 2009

2009-02-28T16:15:00.001-08:00

Shalom everyone. This is a difficult time for all of us- financially, emotionally and spiritually. Those of us who struggled and saved all of their lives to create financial security for ourselves and our families now find that we have so much less than we ever imagined. We are scared. Really scared.

And we helplessly watch as all of the costs of living continue to escalate. In response we cut way back on spending for so many things and yet, it is not enough. The bills are greater than the income. The once financially secure now move through the days with all the dexterity of deer in headlights.

Yet even in this environment, when I meet a new couple for the first time and I witness the love that will inspire their lifelong journey through marriage and life, I am deeply moved and filled with joy. Although they too will face the tremendous burdens of this economic turmoil, their lives together are just beginning. Their futures are only now unfolding.

They will find the way to move beyond economic fear and into the realm of light and hope. Their children will one day learn of the tribulations of these times and yet- they will be born into a world that will continue to evolve and learn to know peace and love and kindness.

That is my vision- and I'm sticking to it.

Shalom,
Rabbi Steve

Sim Shalom Video

2009-02-13T05:58:00.000-08:00

I just received a link to this AMAZING video. It's entitled "Sim Shalom" and means "Grant Us Peace." It's very uplifting and the song is fantastic. Enjoy!

Ask The Interfaith Rabbi

2009-02-02T05:59:00.000-08:00

Shalom. Please post any question you might have surrounding an Interfaith relationship or wedding...

President Obama

2009-01-25T10:43:00.000-08:00

As I watched the inauguration this past week, I was struck by the fact that although millions of people stood in the cold Mall in Washington, the entire ceremony felt so personal. It was as if for one brief moment the entire world drew a collective breath and felt the peace and comfort of unity.

There was a unity of hope and of spirit. And I too rose for the invocation given by Pastor Rick Warren. It was amazing to listen to his words of renewal and peace and of G-d's love. And then, he did what I knew an Evangelical Minister must do- he concluded his prayer in the name of Jesus.

And in that moment, as so many millions of people of other faiths who do not know Jesus in the way that Christians do, I flinched in discomfort. Because when it was time to say "Amen," I was torn between "agreeing" with the sentiment and emotion of the moment, and the religious connotation of being Christian.

Now do not get me wrong- I am certain Jesus was a true rabbi, an amazing person and a gift to humankind. But I am a Jew, and it would have been oh so nice to acknowledge a prayer in the name of a "divine spirit" or indeed, just "G-d" would have been fine for me.

I do know that Pastor Warren probably had no choice and that his religious conviction and responsibility even required him to pray in the name of Jesus. But, for me, well there was a better choice...

What do you think?

War...yet again

2009-01-04T19:36:00.000-08:00

There is no doubt in my mind that Israel has the right to defend herself. And there is no doubt in my mind that Hamas has once again chosen to sacrifice innocent lives in it's irrational and relentless quest to reclaim land it is questionable it ever really owned.

I am tired of the Palestinian argument of who settled what and who did what to whom. What's done is done and we have to deal with reality. What do those who refuse to acknowledge Israel's right to exist really expect? Israel lives and it is entitled to go on living. So too do the Palestinians. And it's time to move on.

Leadership on both sides must stop acting like children and sit down at a damn table and work it out. Perhaps Barak & Hillary can make it happen- one lives in hope.

On a lighter note, as the war was raging, on Dec. 31 I officiated at a wonderful New Year's Eve Wedding in NYC. The couple was beautiful and so in love. Those in attendance were so joyous. I'll post some pics when I get them :)

ThanksGiving

2008-11-27T18:21:00.000-08:00

Shalom everyone. Its Thanksgiving Day. It is a time for us to give pause and to be grateful for all of life's bounties.

Still, on this Thanksgiving in particular, we are sadly reminded that the world can be a very tragic place.

The terrorist attack in Bombay is unfolding as I write this. It is so very difficult for me to fathom the evil that struggles to establish itself in a world that longs for peace.

We pray for the victims.

And we pray for the terrorists as well- may their cowardly and merciless spirits never find peace in this world or the next.

Under The Chuppa

2008-11-17T13:08:00.000-08:00

Outdoors weddings are wonderful! But you really do need a backup plan in case the weather is inclement. I recently did a wedding in which the thunder, lightning and rain began just in time for the ceremony :-(

But, I just explained it was a good omen!

December Dilemma

2008-11-11T15:06:00.000-08:00

Halloween and the December Dilemma too...
Recently on Oct. 31, as I dropped my daughter off at school (dressed up as a devil) I realized that most (if not all) the kids were dressed in costumes. And I reasoned that Halloween is pretty much a national holiday!

Now, I’m sure we all know that Halloween has its roots in a pagan Celtic Festival, which then became known as “All Hallows Eve.” Later Christianity adapted it’s own version and called it “All Saint’s Day.”

Throughout my life, I have read arguments by many inn the Jewish community that Halloween should not be observed by Jews, that if it occurs on a Hebrew School day, Hebrew School should still be scheduled, and that certainly families should insist their children attend services on Erev Shabbat if it coincides with Halloween (if only to make a point).

I dare say however, that most liberal Jewish parents today would never try to prevent their children from trick-or-treating- even on Erev Shabbat.

And this is because modern Halloween in no way triggers a religious connotation for the masses. It has become a cultural phenomenon. Halloween is huge for kids- and for parents. It is a secular day/night of fun. It is all over TV and in the movies. Regardless of its roots it is not observed religiously in any way by anyone that I know.

Soon, once again we will be celebrating our wonderful holiday of Hanukah. This year, it begins on Sunday Dec. 21 and very typically coincides with Christmas.

And once again, we will face another dilemma- the December dilemma.

Even for Jews, none of our American holidays have a similar effect on our lives as Christmas. Each year, with more intensity than on Halloween, we are barraged by Christmas movies and music; by images of families gathering together, decorating trees, children waiting for Santa Claus and opening presents.

Who among us has not seen “It’s a Wonderful Life,” dozens of times? Who among us has not hummed “Jingle Bells” or “We Wish You a Merry Christmas,” hundreds of times? And who among us has not felt good walking around NYC and smelling roasting chestnuts or walking through a gentle snowfall during Christmas season?

Just like Halloween, Christmas is experienced in a grey area beyond our and Judaism’s ability to control. This might be a difficult concept to state and perhaps even more difficult for so many to understand or accept. But it is the truth.

Most of us have interfaith siblings or children or grandchildren who celebrate Christmas with their non-Jewish partners. Moving into the future, it will continue to happen.

Like Halloween, Christmas long ago stopped being a religious holiday for many, many Christians. And while Jews should not feel at all compelled to engage in Christian worship, I strongly suggest that family comes first. Go have some egg nog and don;t feel too guilty if you get a bunch of presents on Christmas day.

There is only one thing greater than faith. It is love. That’s my Hanukah thought for you this year.

Shalom.
Rav Steve

President Obama

2008-11-05T16:31:00.000-08:00

Bless you Barack. It is my sincere wish that you be blessed with good health and the wisdom to lead this great country into a future that embraces peace.

I also pray that now that we have elected a black man as President, perhaps our society and culture will begin to understand that all men, women and living things are created in G-d's image. And that people everywhere- hetero and straight, black and white are filled with the love of a divine spirit.

Love above all else :)

Obama or McCain?

2008-11-04T05:54:00.001-08:00

We shall soon c...

Shalom!

2008-11-03T16:25:00.000-08:00

I am an interfaith rabbi. That means I support- rather than discourage- the union of two people of separate faiths. Together with a few colleagues, we have created Interfaith Wedding. It's a place where interfaith couples who are planning to be married can find a rabbi or minister to perform their ceremony.

Now, there's nothing new about a website that helps you to accomplish this- except that our clergy are very experienced and have been practicing for a long time. And we all feel the same way- that love is the greatest theology of all.

We also understand that this is not a popular position to take. We are not looked upon kindly by some colleagues. But in our hearts we know that we are doing the right thing and that G-d is not angered or upset when two people in love join together as one.

So, if you want to find the best interfaith clergy, let us help you.

Now, I would like to open this blog to people who are in interfaith relationships, and perhaps have been married by interfaith clergy.

It would be great to hear about your experiences- positive or negative.

Also, I certainly do know that parents are especially emotional around the subject of wedding arrangements. They can and do make their feelings known about religion and who should officiate at the wedding. There is usually much pressure on at least one partner to remain true to their faith.

Parents and children, I'd really like to hear about your experiences and journeys.

And as moderator I'll chime in whenever I can :)

Shalom everyone!